Let's Talk Fruit

One of my favorite web sites to turn to over these past few years has been a site called Aleph Beta.  The teachings are amazing and presented in a way that is deep yet engaging and easy to follow.  Rabbi Foreman is the lead Rabbi and he has been gifted with an amazing ability to understand the Word, see things that most of us would read right past, and present his teachings in the humblest way.  One of the ways he likes to lead his students to something is using the game from Sesame Street called “which of these things isn't like the others?”.  So, in the spirit of respect, I am going to borrow this game first from Sesame Street, and secondly from Rabbi Foreman.

As I read Galatians 5:22-23 I come across one of the “fruit of the Spirit” that just seems out of place.  Let’s take a look together.  Which on of these things isn't like the others?:

They are:  Love, Joy, Peace, Longsuffering, Gentleness, Goodness, Faith, Meekness, Temperance (self-cntrol). (KJV)

In most the other versions I have read I am finding that “Longsuffering” has been replaced with “Patience”.  I can totally understand this.  Even if the proper and most accurate reading is “Longsuffering”, it really just doesn’t seem to belong.  Even to the point that very possibly most translators have substituted in a much gentler form of the word being “patience”.

But what exactly is expressed in “longsuffering” that “patience” just does not capture?

I have to believe that this is something that the Holy Spirit is really working with me on.  If “Longsuffering” truly is the better definition, I would propose that it is a balance to the other fruit.  One of my favorite concepts in the walking out of our Christian experience is the progression of three scriptures.  They are:

Galatians 5:22-23 (KJV) “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”,

John 8:32 (KJV) “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

Romans 12:1-2 (KJV) “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, [which is] your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

When combined I like to think of it this way:

I use the fruit of the Spirit to check my current temperament, mood, and emotions.  If I am anything outside the “fruit of the Spirit” then I reason that I am in the “fruit of some other kind of spirit”.  As such, I reason that there must be an open door somewhere within my soul that is allowing the “voice” of another “spirit” other than the “Holy Spirit” to speak into me and lead me to some form of stinkin thinkin that is leading me into some form of thought, emotion, and feeling that falls short of being one with God.

When this happens it reveals to me that I am not free, but being controlled by something that I really don’t want controlling me.  So, I then turn to John 8:32. “The truth shall make you free”.  In this context, I open up my heart, mind, and soul to the Holy Spirt revealing to me exactly where this open door is, what it is, and where it came from.  Sometimes I find that the door is an old hurt that led to me seeing myself in a particular way that isn’t exactly “true”.  Sometimes it leads me to see the world in a way that isn’t exactly “true”.  Sometimes I might discover that I have judged God in a way that is not exactly “true”.  Sometimes, the “truth is” that I have put myself at the center of all things, and as such seeing things from a self-centered position, it is impossible to see how God might be attempting to use me in a particular circumstance.  Anyway, the list goes on and on, there are lots of lies and they all keep us captive, leave us with open doors, and put us into a position that can, under the right circumstances, lead us to stinkin thinkin.

So, over the past several weeks I have been especially tuned into the pain and suffering of the world around me.  The words from the Beatles song “All the Lonely People” has just been echoing through my head.  There are a few things that have led me into this place of a greater and more heightened sense of awareness.

First is a woman that I do ministry with.  Two years ago, she lost her son.  About a month ago she lost her husband.  A few days later she was unable to reach her daughter.  She called the police and they went to the daughter’s home and found her dead.  Apparently, she had been dead for several days putting her time of death very near the same time of death as the woman’s husband.  I will be attending his celebration of life later today.

Another way that God is reaching me in this area is through my own personal experience.  After being in a long-term relationship for the past 3 years, I find myself back in a position of being “single”.  I have been wrestling with the emotions that are between being “lonely” and feeling “alone”.  In this I have been looking at myself, my emotions, and my feelings.  I have been using the scripture I noted above to help keep me in my perceived balance, and have done a good job remaining within the guidelines of the fruit that the Holy Spirit will lead us to.  In my mind I was applying the more traditional “patience” use of the word that the KJV translates as “longsuffering”.

Being transparent and vulnerable, I will share that I see my world as kind of small.  I wrestle with where we are to walk in total faith and where God is calling us to take a proactive stance and do something.  Where I land on this is that, I totally believe that God will bring the right person into my life when the time is right to do so.  At the same time, I believe He is looking to me to do something and not just sit at home waiting for my phone to ring or for Him to lead the right person into my life through some work relationship or church function. 

So, in my willingness to “do my part” I have registered with two online dating sites.  From time to time I sit and skim through the pictures, read the stories, and consider who may or may not be a good fit.  Besides watching my own emotions and seeing what kinds of women I am and am not attracted to and what is stirred within me that leads me to that attraction, I can’t help but reading between the lines of what they are sharing.  So much of what I read simply breaks my heart.

One of the women I came across had a really nice write up and talked about her relationship with God.  I sent her a short hello and we had a short “chat”.  In that “chat” she revealed some of the struggles she was enduring.  A few days later I followed up again and spent the next hour and a half just being an ear for her to vent to.  Her life had been completely turned upside down.  She had suffered a divorce, gotten remarried, soon after lost that husband to brain cancer, almost at the same time she was diagnosed with a rare disorder that put her into a major surgery.  The impacts of that surgery have affected her entire life.  In and through all of this her friends have abandoned her, and she has found herself alone, losing weight, and scared.  Her “religious” upbringing has her wondering why “God is angry at her and “punishing” her”.  And the words of the song keep echoing in my head.  “All the lonely people”.

Another woman that I met is a gifted writer.  She has written some articles for Guide Post and has shared some of what she has written.  Her life too has been one of struggle, trial, and great tribulation.  She has an amazing heart for God.  She has used the grief of her life to reach others and share with them the love of God and the process of finding Him in these moments of despair.

In this friendly relationship, I believe God is using her to further reveal to me this deep concept, where “longsuffering” fits into this list of “fruit”.  She and I hit it off fairly well through our chat discussion so we decided to meet.  Prior to meeting she shared with me that she had high expectations, that she fully believed in that magical sense of love, and that spark that will come when God introduces us to that person that He is leading us toward and offering us as “the one” to whom we are to “become one” with.  Well, that day came and we did meet, and neither one of us had that spark.  I left that meeting contemplating why?  Am I too narrow minded in what “sparks” me?  Is there an aspect of me that still needs to be nailed to the cross?  How many amazing people are going through life never giving or receiving that “spark” response simply because we have been conditioned by society, conditioned by our flesh, conditioned by our pride to give and receive that kind of attraction from within the confines of our pre-determined notions?  But is that fair, is that really what is going on?  Maybe there is something deeper.  Regardless, that’s another blog all together, and for now, it just led me back to the song again…..”All the Lonely People”.

Last night I really came up against the wall on this. The reality of what I am experiencing came crashing down on me.  I became one of those people.  As I laid in bed, curled up in a fetal position, crying more deeply than I remember doing almost ever before, I was flooded with emotions.  I was flooded with the longsuffering of a life gone by, the suffering of my current state, the inability to share these feelings with the one I truly desire to share them with, and the long-felt response to just want to break something, to hit something, to release the pain that was coursing through my veins, even to hurt myself.  Anything to get this paint out of me, to move beyond the suffering.  But those thoughts and emotions simply brought more memories, memories of other moments in my past when I felt the very same way.  Ultimately, I faced the pain, faced the memories, faced the reality, and got up and started writing.  I wrote a letter, I expressed my thoughts, and I let my feelings be heard.

Earlier in the evening I had spent a few hours talking with my mom.  We explored some deep concepts, and I believe God used her to open up my heart to this deeper understanding.  I had shared with her that throughout the last several years of my life I had focused on this formula I shared above using these few sections of scripture to keep me seeing life from a “heavenly perspective”.  After all, we have a father who loves us, who knows what is best for us, and who uses all things for our good.  Right?  In my little world of understanding, this all translates to keeping an optimistic attituded, and being proactive in this journey with Him.  This is the transformation of the mind, right?  And with this transformation we can “rejoice in all things”.

And, yes, all of this is true, but something was missing.  In the transformation of my mind and the renewal of my soul, I have become almost too “heavenly minded” for my own good and for the good of those around me.  As hard as it has been, I have rejoiced in the pain I have felt over these past several days.  It has reminded me that I am human, that I am a living being, surrounded by other living beings, and that all of us struggle with living in this difficult and painful world. 

What I have come to see is that balance is really important and that, in Rabbi Foreman’s own style of teaching, “Longsuffering” truly does “belong” in the list of “the fruit of the Spirit”.  There was a time in my life where I simply immersed myself in the pain, the sorrow, the helplessness, and the pessimistic outlook of an impossible future.  I would go from mountain high to mountain low, and in those low moments I was inclined to struggle with depression, self-pitty, anger, resentment, and a host of other emotions that led me out of my relationship with God and others.  Over the last several years of my life I have allowed myself to feel the pains, to feel the fears, to feel the frustrations, but too quickly move beyond those feelings as I have focused on allowing myself to see things nearly exclusively from God’s perspective surrounding an optimistic future.  Today I am finding greater balance as I realize how important it is to allow ourselves the opportunity to experience longsuffering.

Isaiah 53:3 (KJV) come to mind.  Speaking of Yeshua God shares through the prophet:  “He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.”

To be of the mind of God we simply must understand longsuffering far beyond the concept of patience.  With the right “heavenly mindset” and optimistic attitude we can remain “patient” without ever really getting in touch with that aspect of God that truly sympathizes with us, that experiences our pain, and that is with us in the greatest of trials. 

I see the Word of God, at least in part, as the deepest understandings of where heaven and earth intersect.  It is not about the physical, and it is not about the spiritual.  It is about the interaction of the two.  And by adding longsuffering to the list of the fruit of the Spirit, the fulness of this concept comes into full focus.  With only a heavenly and optimistic mindset that sees everything as “good” we move beyond the physical realm of the reality of the world we live and get so far removed from it that we miss out on the depths of our human relationships. At the same time, if we focus solely on the pain, joys, and experiences of this world and what this world has to offer, we totally miss out on the experience of walking in relationship with Him.  To truly be in harmony with the Spirit we must be in touch with not only the heavenly “optimistic” perspective, but the perspective that comes from being alive, living in this world, experiencing the losses, and suffering the grief…this too is “heavenly”. 

We have a God who love us, who sympathizes with us, who is with us in our tears, and with us in our pain.  To deny these feelings or even to move beyond them too quickly is missing out on one of the greatest aspects of our relationship with Him and others.  For, it is in our pain that we truly understand the depths of our love.

I pray that this blog has been a blessing to you and that if you have found yourself too weighted on one side of the emotions or the other, that either way, this blog has been a blessing to you.  I pray that God has used my words and my experiences to bless you this day.  Amen Amen