Beyond the Barter

Genesis 32:4-36:43, Vayishlach, “And he sent”

This week’s reading picks up in the story of Jacob, with his family, as they travel back to Jacob’s homeland.  Jacob has settled things with Laban and sends word to Esau.  The message is intended to let Esau know that Jacob would like for Esau to greet him with favor.  The only other thing included in the message is that Jacob has the messengers tell Esau that he has spent the last twenty years with Laban and he is now wealthy.

I can’t help but wonder what Jacob was thinking.  The last he knew; Esau was still really angry with him.  I wonder why he thought the announcement of his wealth and a simple request to be seen with favor would actually bring about that result.  Regardless, the messengers return with a message from Esau.  They tell Jacob that Esau is going to come to meet him and that he is bringing 400 men with him.

The thought of this leads to Jacob becoming afraid and distressed.  In this place of fear, he divided all that he had into two companies.  He reasoned that if Esau attacked one company, then the other would escape.  AFTER doing this Jacob went before God with the following prayer:

Jacob said, "O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac, O LORD, who said to me, 'Return to your country and to your relatives, and I will prosper you,' I am unworthy of all the lovingkindness and of all the faithfulness which You have shown to Your servant; for with my staff [only] I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become two companies.  "Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau; for I fear him, that he will come and attack me [and] the mothers with the children.  "For You said, 'I will surely prosper you and make your descendants as the sand of the sea, which is too great to be numbered.'" Genesis 32:9-12 NASB

In this place of total fear and distress he first leans on his own understanding, but then turns to the Lord in prayer.  In this prayer he acknowledges that he is unworthy of the favor that God has shown him, and gives full credit for the great wealth that he now has to Him.  There is no hint of any kind of grumbling or discontent with the difficulties of the last twenty years of his life, and there is nothing but thanksgiving.  He is open with God about his fears, and even leans on the promises of God showing faith that God is true to His promises.

Before he gives God the chance to honor his prayers, the very next day, Jacob takes things back into his own hands.  He decides to send three droves of livestock consisting of 550 plus animals as a ‘gift” to Esau. He sends this “gift” to Esau with the intent of “appeasing” him.  

From there, the scriptures tell us that the very same night that the droves of animals were sent out of the camp, Jacob arose, separated himself from all that he had, was left by himself, and subsequently spent the rest of the night wrestling with a “man’.  The “man” was not able to defeat Jacob so he touched Jacob’s thigh socket and dislocated it.  Jacob insisted on being blessed, the ‘man’ asked Jacob his name, Jacob said ‘Jacob” and the "man" told Jacob that he would no longer be called Jacob, but ‘Israel”.  When he gives Jacob this new name, he tells him that the new name is based on the fact that ‘he has striven with God and with man and has prevailed’.  Israel askes the “man” his name, the “man” does not say, but he does bless Israel.  Israel names the place Peniel based on his view that “I have seen God face to face, but my life has been preserved”.

I don't think anyone could argue that this is a major milestone in Jacob's life.  At the same time, I think the truth is, Jacob was changing all along.  Maybe Jacob had been striving with God longer than we can see from the outside.  Maybe, he prevailed before we could really see the change manifesting in his life choices.  As we move forward, let's read between the lines and see what we might have missed that was an important part of allowing Jacob to become Israel.  In the process, maybe we can learn some things that we can apply to our own relationship with God.

The first thing I pick up on is what happens when Esau shows up and they are about to meet.  Even though Israel puts his favored wife and children behind his less favored wife and children which were behind his least favored children and the maid servants who bore them, he went out in front and approached Esau himself.  When I read this my mind went to Abraham going down to Egypt, then Abraham going to Gerar (where Abimelech was king), and then when Isaac went to Gerar. In all three of these cases Abraham and Isaac were both fearful and sacrificed their wives to protect themselves.  I wonder if “Jacob” would have hidden behind his wives just like Abraham and Isaac hid behind there’s.  What we do know is that Israel didn’t.  Even though he was fearful, he approached his brother first.

The next thig that jumps out is what happens next.  After Esau runs to Israel, embraces him, and kisses his neck, they weep.  At this point Israel introduces Esau to his maids, wives, and children.  As each is introduced, they bow down to Esau.  Finally, Israel and Rachel approach Esau last and do likewise (bow down before him).  With a little help form a teaching from Rabbi Foreman at Aleph Beta, I am convinced that this final gesture is truly sincere and that at this point Israel was no longer attempting to appease or manipulate.  I believe he was in fact, in some small way, saying “I’m sorry”, and attempting to, through this gesture, “return” to Esau the blessings that he had received from Isaac during the deception.  When we go back and look at that blessing, we notice that it included “May peoples serve you, and nations bow down to you; Be master of your brothers, and may your mother's sons bow down to you.”

All of the animal gifts that were sent to buy his brother’s forgiveness simply did not carry an image of repentance.  Repentance isn’t just about feeling bad about something because we don’t like the results as they apply to us.  Repentance includes doing what we can to right the wrongs done to others and changing our behaviors in such a way that we don’t impact others in the same way again.  In the simplicity of having all his family bow down to Esau and then ultimately bowing down to him himself, Israel is in essence saying, “I give you back what I took from you through deceit”.

In this God shows us that Israel truly had wrested with man and God and that he had prevailed.  Through the course of twenty years, I believe that Jacob had leaned on his own strength, his own wisdom, and his own talents.  I think he had worked tirelessly, and God blessed those efforts.  Ultimately, I think he came to the place where he knew that all that work, all that effort, and all that pain was hanging in the balance.  All his dreams of returning to the land of his fathers, with his wives, with his children, and with his wealth all hinged on getting passed Esau.  And in that moment of truth, I think he knew that there was nothing he could do. 

Ultimately, I believe he had to accept that he was totally dependent on God.  When I think back to the if/then deal that Jacob made with God as he was just beginning this journey, I see a man who believed that he was still in control.  “OK God, I know you want me to worship you, so let’s make a deal, if you do all these things for me, I will do that one thing for you.”  And God went right along with that agreement right up to the eleventh hour and then he called Jacob’s bluff.  “OK Jacob, now what are you going to do?”  “Will you make me your God before I deliver you back to the land?”  “Or, are you going to go at this yourself and see if I bless you in your ways?”  In the end Jacob had no choice but to simply go before God in humility.  In this later prayer we see no hint of any kind of bargaining, pride, or grumbling.  We simply see a man broken, humble, and in full awareness of his total dependency on God.  He was finally starting to see God for who He is.

The thing that I am seeing the most as I get to the end of this story is that one of our biggest “wrestling” matches with God is getting beyond the belief that he is asking anything of us.  This is another aspect of “seeing His face”.  At the end of the day, we simply don’t have anything to offer Him.  At this pinnacle moment, Jacob prayed to God and offered God nothing in return for what he was asking.  He simply asked.  Maybe this is what the point of this story is really all about.  Jacob’s entire life had been about bargaining, deception, manipulation, and deals.  This isn’t who God is, and no matter how much we try to approach Him in this way, He simply won’t bite.  He simply loves us, wants to bless us, and wants us to live in a way that is free from the entanglements of this world.

With all this in mind, let's go back to that moment when Jacob reached out to God in prayer.  I'm going to go back to the point that Jacob was crediting God with all that he had acquired and that there was no grumbling or self-righteousness in his prayer.  I have to wonder if through those twenty years with Laban, Jacob had some discussions with God where there was some grumbling, some strong words, and some self-righteousness.  I guess we will never know, but I have to believe that there were.  I have been there, and I have gotten frustrated, I have called out to God, and I have said "Why me?"  I think this is another aspect of our "wrestling" with God, where in the end, we simply have to accept that He is more interested in growing our character than giving us our desires and making life easy.  I think Jacob had been striving with God long before the "man" met him in the night.  I'm thinking that what happened that night was just God putting the icing on a cake that had been baking already for a long time.

As we close this time together, I can’t help but seeing where there are so many places where this week’s readings have the potential to speak to us.  With this in mind, I pray that each of us take the time to look deep within and ask ourselves some really pointed questions, that we allow God to speak to us through those questions, and that as we hear what God is attempting to reveal, we lean on Him to have the strength to know how to move beyond what He is showing us and into something new.  Here are some questions to get us started:

• When we are in the midst of struggle, do we tend to question God's love, or do we lean on His strength as He uses the circumstances of life to mature us into all that He knows we can be?
• Are there areas in our lives where we are allowing fear or anxiety to lead us into getting out in front of God and taking things into our own hands?
• Are there things that we do or think that are following the dysfunctional patterns of our ancestors?
• Are there times in our lives when we are still wrestling with people and not seeing God’s hand of love working behind the scenes?
• Are there areas in our relationship with God that are still coming from an if/then mindset?
• Is there anything that we desire more than truly seeing "His face"?