Feeling Settled?

Genesis 37:1-40:23, Vayeshev, “And he settled”

This weeks reading takes us through the time period between Israel settling into the land of Canaan (where his father Isaac had lived), and into his elder years.  It is primarily focused on the lives of his children.  Specifically, the lives of Joseph and Judah.  Of course, we can’t really look into our lives without discussing the relationships that we encounter along the way.  At the end of the day, isn’t it the relationships that tend to mold us, grow us, and transform us as we progress through this experience we call life?  Sure, I could sum up my life by talking about all the things I have done, the things I have bought, the things I have sold, the things I have won, and the things I have lost.  But, would that really tell you much about my life?  So here to, I think it is important to not just look at the comings and goings of these men, but to look deeply into the relationships and interactions, and as we do, try to understand what God might be trying to communicate to each of us through the relationships of their lives.

One of the first things that came to my mind this week regarding this week’s reading is the name.  “And he settled”.  I understand how these readings are assigned names based simply off the first few words of the reading. At the same time, I like to consider how those first few words might sum up some major concept within the reading.  At first thought, I didn’t see much that fit in this week’s reading relative to “and he settled”.  Then it started opening up to me.  I realized that the word “settled” can have a few different meanings.  We can “settle” in a place to live, we can “settle” into a lifestyle, and we can “settle” for what life gives us.  Settle can take on a meaning of accepting less as in “When he sold the boat, he settled for less than it was worth”, or it can take on a meaning of something positive as in “He is so settled in his relationship with God, nothing knocks him off balance”. 

Ultimately, I came to see that in this section of reading we are given examples of all of these.  Israel “settled” in the land.  He apparently “settled” in his acceptance of the relationship between his children.  And, he settled for his own attitudes of favoritism relative to his own relationships with his wives and their children.  Several of his children were settled in their hatred toward Joseph, and Joseph was settled in what God revealed to him through his dreams and what this all meant to and for HIM.  Later, all the brothers, except Reuben, settled on a plan to kill Joseph.  After throwing him into a pit where he had no choice but to settle in until the circumstances changed, they all were so settled in spirit (after killing their own brother) that they were able to settle down to a meal and eat together as if it was all in a day’s work.  From there, they settled up with a band of Ishmaelites when they sold Joseph into slavery.  And ultimately settled on a lie and deception that they would share with their father Israel as to what happened to their brother.

From there we read about Judah's life.  Presumably, Judah was somewhat settled on his views of sexuality and in regard to how what was right for him was wrong for another.  His story unfolds with him seeing a woman who he “took and went into”.  Typically, the Word is very clear in telling us when someone “takes a wife” and when they just “go into them”, so it is reasonable to interpret this passage as Judah only sleeping with this woman and that he did not marry her.  After raising a family, life settles in for Judah.  His oldest son, Er, marries a woman named Tamar.  Er dies.  Judah understands the importance of continuing the family line of each of his sons so, he encourages his second oldest son, Onan, to go into Tamar and raise up a child in Er’s name.  Onan however wants nothing to do with continuing his older brother’s family line and acts selfishly.  He intentionally settles for his own views of righteousness and is blatantly rebellious against doing the right thing in behalf of Judah, Tamar, and his older brother Er.  For this, God was displeased and took his life from him.  Judah becomes fearful that if he gives Tamar Onan’s younger brother in the same way he gave her Onan, he too might die.  So, he settles in on his own plan of deceit and lies to Tamar about his intentions.  Later, he settles on compromise in regard to his own sexuality when he takes what he believes to be a prostitute when he is on a trip away from home.  He and this “prostitute” settle up on a deal, and they settle into bed with each other.  From there the plot thickens when Judah attempts to deliver payment and the “prostitute” can’t be found.  In this case he gives up the search for her and settles for not being able to repay his debt.  Later, he finds out that Tamar was pregnant out of wedlock and settles for his own hypocritical views as he accuses her of being a harlot deserving of burning.  Ultimately, he discovers that the child is his when Tamar proves that he is the one who impregnated her when she tricked him into sleeping with her.  This leads him into a place of deep introspection where he settles into what God has used all this to show him, he is humbled, and sees his gross unrighteousness.  Through all of this it is interesting to me that Tamar knew Judah well enough to know that all she had to do is show up as a prostitute and he would sleep with her.  It kind of gives me the impression that maybe this was more than a one-time thing for him.  It is also interesting that Tamar was used by God in a way very similar to how God used Rebekah and Laban in their deceitful plans and how each of these characters were so settled in their plans of deceit and manipulation.

Moving on, the reading takes us back to the life of Joseph.  We learn that he ends up in the home of Potiphar.  Potiphar is a high up official in the ranks of Egypt.  Potiphar has a wife who settles her eye on Joseph and decides she wants to sleep with him.  Joseph is settled in his ways and understands that compromising would bring discredit to God.  Ultimately, Potiphar’s wife becomes enraged when Joseph rejects her, she lies about what happened, and settles in on her own selfishness as she stands by and watches Joseph get thrown into prison for something he did not do.  I have to believe that Potiphar knows what is going on or he would have had Joseph killed.  As such, Potiphar settles for compromise when he chooses to save his own reputation and not deal with the deceitfulness of his wife.  The story continues as Joseph is forced to settle into the life of a well-favored prisoner.  Through all of this it appears as though he is well settled in his relationship with God and trust in Him. At the same time, when given the opportunity to self-promote on the coat tails of the revelations God has given him relative to dream interpretation, he attempts to do so. This, I believe is the same pattern he had as a youth when he settled in on the image of his entire family bowing down to him.  Ultimately, he is forced to settle for another life blow when his attempt to self-promote fails when the cup bearer does not remember him before Pharaoh.  In this, the cup bearer, in his selfishness, settles right back into the life he had before being thrown into prison and meeting Joseph.

Believe it or not, there are many more levels of “settling” that I was seeing throughout this summary that I just couldn’t go into.  This summary is long enough and I think the point has been made.  The reality is, life is a never-ending series of opportunities to “settle”.  Sometimes settling can be a positive thing, sometimes it can be a negative thing.  Regardless, the most important thing is knowing when we are doing it.  So often, we go through life not even realizing that we are settled.  Sometimes we don’t realize that we are not settled and that maybe we should be.  Sometimes we know that we should, but we just don’t have the character to be so.

Ultimately, there are some questions that we can draw from this week’s readings as we give it the opportunity to speak into our lives:

• Are we settled into our approach to family relationships that we know show favoritism and/or dynamics that lead to hurt and perpetuates dysfunction in the lives of our loved ones?
• Are there areas in our lives where we have settled into how we view ourselves while deep down inside knowing that how we view ourselves simply isn’t true or healthy?
• Are there areas in our lives where we are settled over how we hold onto unforgiveness, resentment, or hatred?
• Are we settling for a thought life that does nothing more than lead us into places of temptation, bitterness, envy, and a thankless approach to life?
• Are we settled in how we respond to these thoughts and how those thoughts lead us to justifying lying, deceitfulness, conspiracy, manipulation, or some sort of addictive behavior?
• Are there areas in our lives where we are perpetually in stress and anxiety while never being able to find peace and a place of being settled in the circumstances that life has us?
• Are there times that we settle for compromise when we know that God has called us to a higher level of living?
• Do our moment-by-moment decisions provide proof that we have settled for a life that is far below where God has called us to be, what He has created us for, who He knows we are capable of becoming, or a life free of the bondages we have lost hope of overcoming?
• Do we settle on our views of things in such a way that hinders us in our ability to understand others or be open to new understandings and growth?
• Are there areas where we are settled in on our own needs to self-promote even though we know that this need is coming from a place of woundedness or from a lack of faith?

Ultimately, we must come to understand that every day we have countless opportunities to see where we have settled, where those areas of settlement are good, and where they are not so good.  Every day we have the opportunity to move beyond those areas that are not so good, and settle on making some changes.  I pray that this blog has been an eye opener to some area of your life that God has called you to move on, to break a pattern of settling, and to become more settled in Him.  I pray that you lean on His strength as He holds you by the hand and leads you along the way.  I pray that none of us ever become stagnate in this relationship with Him and that we are ever remaining open to moving beyond those places where we have had a tendency to settle.